The Wedding Toast
Consider hiring a coach to help you manage it all and be an
auxiliary "brain" so you can be free to experience
the moment. A coach can point you to many resources, help
you keep it all organized, and lessen that "overwhelmed"
Break it into manageable pieces and as you take care of each
item, you'll gain momentum.
The Toasting Order
A suggested order for toasting during the Rehearsal Dinner
- The best man toasts the bride
- The bride toasts the groom
- The groom toasts the bride's mother
- The bride's father toasts the groom's parents.
During the Reception, the order might be:
- The best man toasts the bride and groom
- The groom toasts the bride and her family;
- The (two) father(s) toast the bride and groom
The bride and groom toast each other.
Some Tips About Giving The Toast
- Keep the toast 3-5 minutes long and maintain eye contact
with the bride and groom as you deliver it.
- Stand and deliver! Sit down if it's for you. If you're
giving the toast, you should stand up.
- Make sure all the glasses are full before you begin.
- First thing, announce your relationship to the bride
and groom. Everyone may not know.
- Use personal anecdotes; how the bride and groom met is
always popular. Or how you met either of them, if you're
not a relative.
- Don't give a long string of characteristics. Rather choose
a few adjectives, hitting the high points (i.e., she's lovely,
vivacious and kind).
- Use tasteful humor and don't do "in" jokes
that only a few will get. You want to include, not exclude.
- Stay PG-rated. There may be children there, and also
it's just good taste. It's your responsibility on this important
occasion to make sure you offend no one.
- End on a serious note. Finish with a wish, a blessing,
cheers, or congratulations. "To the bridge and groom"
always works. Looking at some of the resources below will
give you other ideas to get you started.
- Practice your toast a lot beforehand. This is not the
time to "wing it" especially if you plan to be
- Do not mention past girlfriends, past marriage, or past
relationships. That's what the stag party is for.
- And don't end with something negative which may slip
into your mind if you aren't prepared like, "And I
hope theirs doesn't end in divorce like mine did."
- If you can't think of what to say or how to say it, there
are a host of services that will write it for you.
Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Psychology, Emotional Intelligence
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