Helpful Hints When Kids are in the Wedding Party
By Gretchen Maurer
Keep the kids at another location for
dressing and preparation. One home I was at the ring bearer
was giving horsy rides to the flower girl; grandpa had
to step in the tears followed. At another, the little
flower girl just thought it was the greatest thing to
go up and down the stairs repeatedly so she could hold
up her dress. Another little one swiped bobby pins and
hid in the corner and "did" her own hair.
Make sure videos and snacks are available
and kid friendly.
Dress them at the last possible minute.
For real little ones have a large bib
to put on.
Scuff up the new shoes on the bottom with
sandpaper and let the kids break them in ahead of time.
If Mom is in the wedding make sure she
gets ready first!
Lois Pearce, President, Beautiful Occasions,
Hamden Connecticut has found, " Children work best
around the ages of 4-7. When I've worked with children
in a wedding party I try to get down to their level and
see how they view the surroundings and talk with them
at their vantage point. If they are younger I try to help
them find something or someone to focus on so that the
walk down the aisle is not so enormous in size and length."
More from Lois, "Give the children
their own attentive spot during the processional. Remember
the bride is the focus, all the other parties are a preliminary.
Allow them (the children) ample space between the bride
as she processes down the aisle so that they can be "oooed"
and "awed" and then have the focus return to
Videographer, Mary Bair suggests "Children
should be fed a small meal before the wedding and if they
are little children hopefully they will have had a nap.
They should be taken to the potty immediately before the
ceremony begins because they get nervous too and you know
what can happen then."
More from Mary, "Small children should
not be allowed to go up on the altar or to stand with
the wedding party at the front. I videotape from the front
and this is how I can see who the audience is looking
More Helpful and Fun ideas:
Have a toy under the petals of the basket
for the child to open once they have completed their walk.
Have a person from the parish ready to
whisk the kids off to a Sunday school run ready with snacks
and juice to keep the kids till the ceremony is over.
Don't expect the kids to sit quietly for up to an hour
just to have exiting pictures. Bring them back up for
pictures later. The wedding is not about the perfect pictures
you will have later; it is about the vows.
Or Lois adds, " An attendant or a
groomsmen should be assigned the task of keeping an eye
on the kids during the service. Should the child become
unruly, their parent should be alerted to come and remove
the child from this focal point of the ceremony.
Recent flower girl Mother, Lease Moon,
had her daughter keep a diary about her flower girl experience
as well as a calendar up in her daughter's room to mark
off the days until the wedding. Her daughter let everyone
know she was keeping a "diarrhea" of the wedding!
Picture perfect? To get a child to get through
the rehearsal dinner, sleep a good nights rest, alter their
morning routine, put on scratchy strange clothes and hard
new shoes, sit for their hairstyle, keep a "thing"
on top of their head, get through per-ceremony pictures, hold
a basket and not loose it, drop petals, walk slow, walk straight,
and then two hours later be expect to be clean, still and
quiet for more pictures? This is not possible for many adults!
A calm easygoing bride is the best medicine for the child
and also helps to relax the mother as well. Keeping your expectations
low and having a go with the flow attitude is the best strategy
for the bride to be. Lois Pearce, President, Beautiful Occasions
in Hamden Connecticut has these additional comments, "Children
need praise. Praise them for their performance and thank them
for their cooperation. They will react accordingly. All they
want is a little love!"
wedding hair stylist Gretchen Maurer has over 18 years of
experience in wedding beauty, including having done her share
of flower girls! She is the author of The Business of Bridal
Beauty, which includes a section devoted to the flower girl.
She is also the creator of www.weddinghair.com
a web site strictly devoted to wedding hairstyles. She has
two daughters of her own and can speak from personal experience!
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