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   Getting Along With Your Fiancé While Planning Your Wedding

 
Getting Along With Your Fiancé While Planning Your Wedding

By Leah Steenstra

Planning your wedding can be a stressful time in your life. There is so much to do, difficult family issues to tackle, as well as financial stresses. All this frustration can take a toll on your relationship with the one you pledge to spend your life with. Here are a few ideas to keep the love flowing between you and your intended.

  • Don’t Call Names. When you’re having a bad day and your fiancé says something you completely disagree with, there is a tendency to shoot a few choice words or some "not-so-nice names". Hold your tongue! These labels do nothing but create anger and hostility, and will certainly not help to find a solution over cutting the guest list.
  • Don’t Blame. When something is wrong, choose your words wisely. It is important to use words like "I feel" instead of saying something like "You’re wrong". Don’t express concerns through blaming and criticizing. Instead, express your feelings without making the other person wrong.
  • Listen. Marriage Counselors agree that the biggest complaint in struggling relationships is that one partner feels as though the other one isn’t listening. Stop the pattern before it starts and listen to your fiancé’s concerns. He or she could have a very good point that you’d miss if you were too busy rehearsing a rebuttal.
  • Apologize and Forgive. So, you made a nasty comment about her mother’s taste in music. Don’t be so filled up with pride that you won’t ask for forgiveness. Likewise if she made the mean or inappropriate comment: accept her apologies and don’t hold a grudge.
  • Be Thoughtful and Flexible. Next week you are scheduled to meet with three vendors, on your fiancé's birthday. While he agreed to attend, you know he’d much rather go out for dinner. Show him how much you appreciate him and reschedule some appointments and plan a fun night out.
  • Take a Break. It’s important for both of you to take a break from wedding planning. Plan a romantic dinner for two, an afternoon picnic or a movie. Only one rule applies: Don’t talk about the wedding plans!


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