Coping With Divorced Parents
By Leah Steenstra
How do you deal with divorced parents? While this can be a
heartache for many brides, there are ways to have a beautiful
wedding without starting a war. Below are a few ideas that
will ease tension and are socially acceptable.
Creating a Budget
Consider opening up a checking account
for the sole purpose of wedding expenses. If both of your
divorced parents are contributing to the wedding, discuss
with them (together or separately, depending on the situation)
and find out how much they can contribute. Ask both parents
to write you a check for a lump sum and put it in your
account. Take out the money as needed. That way you do
not have to run after the money every time you make a
Another option is to write out a detailed
list of all the expenses you plan to encounter. Go down
the list, and assign each expense to a parent. Make a
copy for each parent so they know what exactly you are
expecting them to pay for.
If your parents aren’t on speaking
terms, or if one of them has a girlfriend or spouse that
your other parent is uncomfortable around, be sensitive
and seat them apart. Etiquette holds that in the ceremony,
your mother and stepfather sit in the first row and your
father and stepmother are seated in the second row.
If everyone gets along -- they can be
seated together at the ceremony.
For the reception, it's usually best to
seat them at different tables.
Your mother’s name goes first,
followed by your father’s name. Do not connect the
names with an "AND".
If your father hasn’t been in your
life since you were a baby, it is acceptable to put just
your mother’s name or the names of your mother and
stepfather on the invitations.
Every family is unique, and there may
be a host of other issues you are worrying about. Just
remember that communication is a key. Keep both of your
parents informed as to what you are thinking about and
ask for input from both of them. Don’t compare one
parent to another as this will only increase the tension
for your big day.
If you are in a very complicated situation,
you might want to consider asking your Officiant, wedding
coordinator or counselor for advice.
Courtesy USABride www.usabride.com
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