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   Coping With Divorced Parents

Coping With Divorced Parents

By Leah Steenstra

How do you deal with divorced parents? While this can be a heartache for many brides, there are ways to have a beautiful wedding without starting a war. Below are a few ideas that will ease tension and are socially acceptable.

Creating a Budget

  • Consider opening up a checking account for the sole purpose of wedding expenses. If both of your divorced parents are contributing to the wedding, discuss with them (together or separately, depending on the situation) and find out how much they can contribute. Ask both parents to write you a check for a lump sum and put it in your account. Take out the money as needed. That way you do not have to run after the money every time you make a wedding decision.
  • Another option is to write out a detailed list of all the expenses you plan to encounter. Go down the list, and assign each expense to a parent. Make a copy for each parent so they know what exactly you are expecting them to pay for.
  • If your parents aren’t on speaking terms, or if one of them has a girlfriend or spouse that your other parent is uncomfortable around, be sensitive and seat them apart. Etiquette holds that in the ceremony, your mother and stepfather sit in the first row and your father and stepmother are seated in the second row.
  • If everyone gets along -- they can be seated together at the ceremony.
  • For the reception, it's usually best to seat them at different tables.
Invitation Wording
  • Your mother’s name goes first, followed by your father’s name. Do not connect the names with an "AND".
  • If your father hasn’t been in your life since you were a baby, it is acceptable to put just your mother’s name or the names of your mother and stepfather on the invitations.
  • Every family is unique, and there may be a host of other issues you are worrying about. Just remember that communication is a key. Keep both of your parents informed as to what you are thinking about and ask for input from both of them. Don’t compare one parent to another as this will only increase the tension for your big day.
  • If you are in a very complicated situation, you might want to consider asking your Officiant, wedding coordinator or counselor for advice.

Courtesy USABride

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