10 Questions Often Asked by Brides
1. How can I let people know where I am registered?
Word of mouth is really only the "proper" way to
inform people where you are registered. You really must wait
until they ask you or other family members. All friends and
family members should be told where you are registered so
they can inform others when asked.
Today, many brides are including cards from the Department
Store where they are registered in their shower invitation.
However, this is still NEVER done in the wedding invitation.
2. How can I ask for money instead of a gift?
Actually, there is NO way of wording the asking of money for
wedding gifts in lieu of something else without being tacky.
I'm afraid this is a cardinal rule of etiquette that must
be taken seriously.
The only thing you can do is tell your friends and relatives
your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends
can say that you would prefer money because you are... (i.e.
saving for a house, etc.).
Then, guests can do whatever they like. If they take the hint
- GREAT - but if they don't, accept the gift with a gracious
3. How can I let people know that I don't want children
at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is NOT include the children's names
on the invitations. However, you'll find that some people
will still bring their children.
So you might want to be prepared with a "kids table"
that includes crayons, coloring books, and candy. Some even
hire a babysitter to look after the children at the "kids
Some brides are now having "adult only" printed
on their invitations but again, even at that, some people
ignore the printing and assume "their children"
are, of course, invited.
4. Who Pays for What?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared
among the bride's family, the bride and groom and the groom's
family. See Traditional
Guidelines to Wedding Expenses
5. How many invited guests should I expect will actually
attend my wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you're having over 200 guests,
then you can estimate that about 25-28% of your guests will
be unable to attend. If you are having less 200 guests, then
the percentage usually decreases to about 15-20% or less.
Other factors include how many guests you invite that live
out-of-town and the travel distance required to attend the
Remember, every family (and guest list is different) - so
always be prepared in case EVERYONE is able to come!
6. What are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?
The main role of the maid of honor is to help the bride with
the wedding planning. This can include shopping for dresses,
addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being
there when the bride needs some extra help, support or someone
to talk to. Click here for Maid
of Honor Responsibilities
7. What is appropriate to wear for a
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding…
the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many second-time
brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding
dress. Many choose a floor length or cocktail length dress
in white, off-white or a pretty pastel.
Many "etiquette experts" advise second-time brides
to not wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding.
DON'T LISTEN to them! This is your day - wear what YOU want
to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now
you want to go all out! Wear what makes you feel beautiful!
Click here for Getting Married
the Second Time Around
8. How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique
and personal. But, which ideas are right for you?
Only YOU can decide. Think about what is important to you
and your fiancé. Think about special interests or hobbies
that you share together. Or, maybe there is a special place
- the beach or some quaint little Inn you went to when he
proposed. Incorporate THESE elements and these "feelings"
into your wedding and it will be truly unique and personal.
9. Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include
their gratuities with your bill. So, a tip is not necessarily
As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ,
limo driver, photographer), again a tip is not required. However,
if you feel a vendor went "above and beyond the call
of duty", then feel free to provide them with an extra
tip. If you are concerned whether or not a vendor is "expecting"
a tip, then discuss it with them.
10. What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one... most clergy do not have a "fee"
but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere from
$50 - $100 or more. A lot depends on how well you know them
and whether or not counseling sessions were involved.
If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should
be - then talk to the church secretary and ask for an "acceptable
range" for a donation.
Courtesy USABride www.usabride.com
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